Another Favorite

Airlines are my favorite way to travel

Dream Man

He walked in, luscious full lips framed with a barely there, just clip reddish facial hair. His head was crowned with the red brown shade that I find so alluring.

Of course it wast just his face that attracted me, though I could spent weeks there, his face was stunning. His body was just as alluring, It was easy to see that under his shirt his chest was pumped up full of muscle.

And the curve of his ass, though covered by black pants, it was easy to see that the man spent some time working out.

Memories

The other night I went to a musical and I saw a man that was just stunning.

Oh he wasn't dream god stunning, he was ordinary man, oh my god stunning. Little bit of thinning hair on the top of his head (I sat in some rows above him so it was easy to see) muscular, taller than me, and he wore his keys on the left.

I guess I'm a bit of a bottom, but if you're taller, then you're the top with me, just the way that I'm wired.

Anyway I like to have that out of the way, especially when I'm fantasizing.

So, I'm looking at this guy and he looks familiar. after I left I flashed back to who he looked like. An Old Friend that I had not seen for 15 years, his name was Dane, and he was an former roller-skate champion, I think he was #2 in the United States.

So, now after the fact, I can visualize myself, going up to him and saying, "Excuse me, but I want to ask you a strange question, Are you a former Roller-Skate Champion?" and if he says yes, well if he says no, well you can say, "Well you look like you could have been, and you look a friend of mine, by the name of Dane."

And who knows where it could go from there.

He was an older gentleman

But there was an attraction right away, I don't know if he felt it or that was just part of his persona, but it drew me to him, making me want him.

Sometimes with a man like that, the ordering process changes how I feel about them, their whole attitude makes me feel like I would not want to give them the time of day let alone have sex with them, but he was calm, self assured and he knew what he wanted and he was relaxed about, but not concerned with the price.


After we completed his order, he shook my hand, and the magic was still there.

Troy

Yesterday, We were kidding my boss about the fact that when a cute girl walks in, that he serves the customer, and if she wasn't so cute he pawns her off on one of the graphic designers. He has a new girlfriend so he was protesting that he is better than he used to be.

So they were laughing,and kidding each other, and I chimed in saying that I wanted all the cute guys from now on. That really busted them up.

However today, a stunning man came in and I almost felt like my mouth was hanging open, and much to my regret I had to pass him on to a designer

Thoughts about an X

I was at the gym the other day, it was a great eye candy day, lots of red-haired lithe stud muffins, the kind I like.

One in particular I could not get enough of, he was dressed all in white, the white set off his pale ruddy skin and red close cropped hair, I looked a lot and drank in his good looks, but I tried to be discrete.

Later on, in walked this man that reminded me of an ex, he had the same body shape and facial features, though his hair was brown, not reddish, but he did make me think of him (the ex), so much that I had to look twice to make sure it was not him.

He was actually more buff than my ex, but now I am buffer than I was then.

Seeing him made me think, Did I end it with him because I thought I wasn't good enough for him? He was, at the time, a show promoter, traveled around in limousines, made more money than I did, at least that was the impression I got, later I found out it was just for show, he was in serious debt, but I didn't know that at the time, I was just a simple man.

I think maybe I did.

just because

Seth

He is older than he looks, much older, fifteen years in fact. you might think he is 22, but he isn't.

I was told that is because of some kind of genetic defect, that it both made him shorter, younger looking and maybe he will die young.

I am selfish, I would not care, well, maybe I would, well of course I would, It just that I want him.

Oh I know I can't have him, I'm in a relationship and he is straight.

He knows I'm gay, everybody know I'm gay that works there. I don't try to hide, in fact I tease them and they tease me, we all have fun.

But still I want him, I don't know if he knows that, but his boss does, she teases me and calls me when he comes to visit (he no longer works there).

He lives in town and drops by for drinks now and then, the only time I join them is when he is there too.

In fact that what they use to lure me downtown, "Seth will be there" they tease me.

I just love looking at him, I suppose he isn't that cute, But I love the way he looks, actually a bit skinny, but he has a nicely rounded butt. I spend many a night imagining that I'm curled around him.

I fantasize about how I would get him into bed, him being straight and all.

I don't really go after straight guys, its too much work, well I have once, but he made the first move, and the whole, I was really drunk last night, I don't remember a thing. That is just not for me.

Well sex is great, I'm not really after the sex, it relationships that really turn me on. I don't think its until you get to know a guy that you start to have really great sex.

And that's what I want with him, I want him to want it, I want him to think about and say (if only to himself) "Yeah, I think I'll give it a try" I want him to think about what it would be like to give himself and his body over to me, that he can just relax and let someone make him happy.

Not that he isn't happy already, I'm not stupid, just sometimes, if you know if someone wants you to try something different, you know that they will do their damn best to make sure you had a good time, especially if you know they want you to come back for more.

Well, I just want this guy Seth, I want to hold him, I want to caress him, Hell I want to make him moan and scream and have orgasms, day after day. I want to hold him after he comes, and caress his body.

I want to make him arch his butt up in the air, and let me worship him. I want him to put his butt up in the air because he knows how much I want to worship it. I want him to like it, love it and I want him to learn to crave it.

I want him to learn to love the feeling of my cock against his butt when we are sleeping at night. I want to nibble on his ears and nuzzle the back of his neck.

so young, so naive

Naive, I was so naive, I had just joined the Army and I weighed like 115 lbs. I was lost and confused, but no matter, it was all a big adventure.

I soon learned that the most important thing was not to bring yourself to the attention of the drill sergeants.

We all slept in a big room, and the latrine (not bathroom) it had no doors on the toilet stalls, I learned to take of my business fast and always tried to hold it until I was there by myself.

The only thing I liked about this period was the communal shower, but I was so naive, that I was only thing I was concerned about was not measuring up, so to speak.

This time was so confusing to me, I’m sure I made friends, but I don’t remember any of them, but I do remember that there were a few guys that I thought were hunky, but most of us were too thin, or overweight. We mainly tried to just keep under the radar, tried to get our bunks made properly, and our lockers the way the drill sergeant preferred.

The only real lasting impression I have was that I had a Drill sergeant that used to say “ I’ Kill You” His nephew was in the platoon, and he used to ride his ass something terrible, but his nephew never complained.

I did have some trouble getting my marksman badge, and I was afraid that I was going to have to repeat basic training, but once I relaxed and learned to breath at the proper moment, I earned an excellent marksman’s badge to pin on my chest.

When I graduated from basic training, I got to go home for the weekend, and then after that it was off to Fort Bliss, which is in El Paso Texas for Advanced Individual Training or AIT.

All of the people heading to Fort Bliss from Fort Ord were put on a plane that then flew to Los Angeles. (My very first time on an airplane) We were late and were going to miss our flight to El Paso, so they called ahead and escorted the twenty of us in uniform to our plane. I felt so important.

It was an uneventful flight to Texas, and somehow someway we got to the base, and then to our barracks. Somewhere along the line I remember some marines (I’m sure they were just out of basic too) mistook us for officers, for they all stood up and saluted us.

The next day, was some kind of orientation, we were now dressed in our fatigues, which is our everyday work gear. We got assigned to squads, and platoons.

I think I weighed about 130 lbs at this point, and I used to ride my bicycle everywhere as a kid, so my legs and butt were pretty well developed, the rest of me was still pretty skinny though.

Well, this one guy would whistle every time I walked by. He’d say out loud, “Mighty fine, mighty fine”. After a couple of days he started getting louder, and say “ I’m going to get me some of that.” Well, his friends started whistling too, every time I walked by.

I didn’t know what to do.

Well one night, it was just about bedtime, I was already in my bunk getting ready for sleep, and he comes over to the bunk in his boxer shorts. His dick is hard as a rock and sticking out of his shorts.

He says to me. “Come on Baby, give me some of that fine ass” Well, I’m in the middle of a twenty man room, so I grab him by his arm and throw him out of the barracks onto the formation area. He never bothers me again, and no one else does either.

The funny thing is, He was a squad leader, he had his own room, if he had been discreet and used a little more finesse, I might have given it up.

Oh, well.

I did finally give it up, but that's another story

delivery men

well actually I had to go get it, but who doesn't fantasize about delivery men, and maybe pizza delivery men...

I go and pick up a pizza, twice a month, maybe...

and there is this young man, who seems too friendly, well not too friendly, just more friendly than normal...

I fantasize that he wants something from me... and I fantasize that I give it to him

memories

He was sexy and smart, and I loved him like crazy, but after awhile we just grew apart.

Years later, I ran into him, and he asked why, I told him it was because he was always trying to fix me, he thought about it and he agreed.

Yesterday, at the gym, I saw him, but it wasn't him, but he reminded me of him, that same gorgeous body, that sexy smile and eyes.

I watched, with longing, remembering what we once had.

laugh a little

tired

tired of all the hate...

tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere.

Oh, I know that I have people that love me, and I love people too

Just sometimes I get tired of dealing with it all.

when I get this way, I just have to count my blessings,

and wait for this to play out.

Coffee Time

I enjoy going to coffee, but I only go once a month with a friend, I'm sure I drive my friend crazy because I spend the entire time looking around me at all the sexy hot man meat that surrounds me.

first, the blond fresh from the gym, he was wearing a black tank top and cream colored shorts that cupped his ass like a pair of hands. Oh, I would have sure love to be those hands or those shorts, or his friend, wearing his gym clothes too- I'm sure I would have remembered what he was wearing but I was busy staring at the blond fixing in my minds eye what the blond looked like.

Next up was the tall dark and handsome man wearing the brown corduroy pants, with the chest hair peaking out from under his shirt, We discussed whether his ass would be hairy or not. we decided it didn't matter, we'd audition him anyway.

Then, there was the older business man, oh he was nice...really nice... he was wearing a white polo shirt, and khaki pants thats showed off both his muscular ass and his broad shoulders, he was actually built better the "fresh from the gym" blond.

He might a have been even more fun in the sack, I think older men can get nastier, just let themselves get loose and do what ever feels good.

Then there was the young slender man wearing some loose fitting jeans, but the way he stood with his weight on one leg, while he was ordering his drink emphasized the curves of his ass, I so wanted to crawl over and lick it, it was good... it was very good.

and then last that I will mention, but not least were the two construction guys that were wearing overalls, one was beefy and built - the other was a little less built, but there were both treats to the eyes.

I should go to coffee more often

Early Morning Treat

this morning I had to be at work early, sometimes on Fridays I end up being the only one here, on those days I have to be here at 8am the time we open, instead of my usual 8:30-9am, or when I actually get here. My boss normally doesn't care because I always stay late after we close.

So that meant that I didn't get a chance to cruise by some of my favorite men sights (if I go to work at roughly the same time, I get the pleasure of seeing certain hot hunky men taking their cigarettes breaks)

but to make up for it, when I parked my truck, I was treated to the sight of a rather hunky blond, walking down the street, in front of the shop.

So maybe I will come to work early more often

this week

I haven't felt much like posting - I have made it to the gym only three times this week, and I am happy with my training, but sometimes, I just get tired, I thought I was coming down with a cold... but I'm over that -

Usually if the day I think I'm coming down with something - if I go to bed early that day and rest - I usually avoid it.

I have been to work this week a bit earlier than usually so I have been missing my favorite smoker -

there is this guy - that I drive by on the days I'm late (am I late, if I arrive at the same time every day?)

regardless of how you might answer that , the guy, the point of this story, is that he is out smoking a cigarette when I drive by, and he is very handsome, or as handsome as one can be when you are driving by at 30 miles and hour, and he looks at me when I slow down to look at him - someday I just may stop

this week's men

so during one of my workouts this week, I got the pleasure of the 07/13 stud, doing the the elliptical trainer next to me. He is the one that I want my body to be most like. I will have to ask him about his workouts at some point.

While I don't like to be one of those guys that stare, I was able to see his arms in the reflection of the TV, so that was very good, later on, he came in to the locker room while I was showering and changed his shirt, nice abs and chest, no hair.

Later in the week, this same guy was working out where I could see the curve of his ass, while I was working on my Triceps... it has been a nice week...

-
at work, this weeks hottie was a fireman, I usually get the older ones, but this one was stunning, he was the fantasy come to life. A bit taller than I am, and his clothes were tight enough that you would have fantasy material, but not so tight that they look obscene, I liked that fact that his pockets on his ass were just a bit torn, like he ripped them getting his wallet out.

-
During my commute this morning, I happened to look over and there was this very cute blond with a beard driving a mini-cooper...

so my new favorite car is the mini-cooper, but I want a convertible.

Gym work

Today, I worked on Back & Triceps... I'm mixing it up.. well actually, I'm going to the gym with my partner tomorrow and I want to work on Chest and Biceps - I need him to spot me.

I really want to get some good gains in muscle size in the next six months, before I start training for the ride again.

I saw that guy again, I don't remember if I talked about him in this blog or not. But he is about my size and he has a really nice defined body, he is losing his hair on top, but he has this really hairy ass, almost like he is wearing shorts.

I'm not into hairy asses, but I think I would make an exception for his, it is that nice. He isn't very friendly, I've talked to him a few times, but he never nods, says hi or any of the other things the others at the gym do.

I'm not one of those social butterflies, but I nod to the ones that have nod to me now and then.

He works locally, and I see him there once in awhile, when I need to go get something, but I don't go out of my way to check him out.

Sometimes, I wonder if, he knows I like to check him out, I wonder what he thinks (if anything about me)

Muscles

Hercules...

It is my new nickname from my boss... of all people...

I guess the gym work is finally starting to show...

The gym was great today.. . all the buff guys were there.. (well not all), but the ones that I see frequently... I was looking around and wondering, if I could choose any body to look like... which one would I choose?

There are some taller guys, that I have great arms, nice big chests and have that V-shape, but I don't think I want to be that tall... there are times, when I wished I was taller, but I'm pretty happy with my size right now... If I want to be taller, I just wear my cowboy boots...

There are some other guys that are short and massive, but I think their shape is just - well like the mutant ninja turtles... so I don't want to be that massive...

There is this one guy, that I really liked his shape, about my height, nice arms & shoulders & back, nice rounded ass... and nice calves & thighs... now I just need to see his pecs... to make sure

Been awhile

And I have to admit, I

a) haven't felt like posting

b) when I have, I have been posting on my other blogs...

But this blog is just for me and sometimes I forget that, I don't link to my other blogs here... forgive me if you are wondering who I am... I'm not hiding from you , just don't want my family to know everything (they read my other blog)

I have been a little depressed. My

former

best friend threw me for a loop, when he brought up my former ex- boyfriends (that was so long ago), about them being losers, and about my bookstore, also about that he thinks I have issues with my dad.

Anyway, I'm just now started my own healing as regards to that... maybe I'll write more later...

Men

I went to a ball game recently - oh hell the last time I went was 20 years ago, Im just not into the crowd thing... but I noticed that...

a) I am getting older
b) I could go for a younger man any time now (if I was single)
c) I like them shorter than me
d) I think it is dominance thing

it's been awhile

and my theme is "those sexy men that make the Dragon Rise...

but while I'm at the gym or when on a bike ride, I see all sorts of men that make the dragon twitch, sometimes I just don't feel the urge to write about it.

I mean men are men, they are all basically the same, legs, arms, head. I of course am talking about the outside, oh sure some of them look different, bigger smaller, taller.

Blonds, brunettes, redheads (I love redheads), they are all pretty much the same, and some of them work out when they are young, but then give it up and so their shapes change.

Some of them start to work out when they are older, and so their shapes change.

We get older, our hair falls out, or it turns grey. Life changes us...

What really makes the Dragon rise, is someone who loves me the way I am.

That's what is really important.

Gym Daze

I'm not going to the gym this week.. Well I'm still going to my spin classes, but the time change always screws me up and makes me tired so I will skip the workout portions of my gym time this week...

However Spin Class, has some new hot stud muffins, and that makes me smile...

Too bad I'm one of those blokes that sits in the front row, I will seriously have to think about sitting in the back again so I can get me some view of butt...

THOSE 28 INCH WAISTS

Is it possible for an older guy to have one, and would you want one?

I don't know about that, I think it is pretty difficult for an older guy to have one, but maybe a 30 inch waist is possible...

What has got me thinking about this, well I have been working out pretty hard for 6 months now, both cycling and with the weights, but there is a guy in the gym that has one of those impossible 28 inch waists. (I didn't measure)

I used to have a 28 inch waist when I was 18, but after i discovered food I pretty much lost it. I was up to a 36 at one time (should have been wearing 38's) and now can squeeze myself into a 31, but my waist is still too big (for me) this is based on the fact that when I'm sitting down, it looks bigger than I want.

I have to really think about cutting out the chips, cheese and another junk food.

does he do it for you?

Sex for me is more of a mental thing... I have to just got to have a mental connection...

Even if the connection is all about being a sleazy whore scum bag ...

If I lose that connection, I'm am so over it...

Latin Men

Dark smoldering eyes... a hot temper...

exciting... yes?

I met him at the 641 Club in San Jose, there was something about him that I was really attracted too, maybe it was his easy manner, and his take charge attitude...

He was 30 and I was 27 at the time... His body was fit, but not built up in anyway...

We went to his place...

It was poorly lit, this neighborhood of his, and there were lots of cars in need of repair in driveways and on the street..

the drive way of his house was compacted dirt, but because of the rain, was muddy and full of puddles... I wondered what I was getting myself into..

We went in the house and his mother got off the couch, David introduced me to his mother, and she asked us if we wanted anything to eat...

David grunted "later" and he guided me into his bedroom... he turned up the stereo real loud...

Disco was not dead yet... and the whole house was going to get to listen to it...

David had a king-size bed, and we used it well that night....

Afterwards, David tuned down the music, and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself, and then he handed me one...

He opened the bedroom door and yelled "MA" - I wrapped the towel around myself and thought "oh my god she is going to know that we were just in here - fucking."

What would you think, if two men came home late at night, been drinking, go into a bedroom and come out naked a few hours later?

This was something I was not used to.

David went into the kitchen, told me to follow him and when he saw his mom he said, "Ma, can you make us some eggs & bacon?" she nodded her head, and started getting things out of the refrigerator...

David turned to me and said "Come on"

He led me to the bathroom where we proceeded to take a shower together... Afterwards we went and sat the kitchen table with just our towels on, and David's mom served us breakfast.

After breakfast he said goodnight to his mom and led me back into the bedroom, he turned the music back on , but not as loud as it was before.

We both went to sleep, but I'm sure I did not sleep as deeply as he did, in the morning, David turned up the music and we went at it again.

We took showers again and then we sat down again for breakfast at the table, While at breakfast I met his two sisters, their boyfriends and their babies.

There were 8 people living in this 3 bedroom house, and for some reason David had the biggest bedroom, and had no problems bringing his tricks over and fucking the whole night.

This was something that I was not used to, and to me, it felt very strange.

Outside, in the light of day, I noticed that there were two more houses that shared the same driveway, these were David's nephews and their families...

Later I found out that David was the "Patriarch" of the Family, the oldest male child and therefore everyone looked up to him... They had no problem with David being gay, David was the eldest and that's the way it was... it didn't matter that he was gay...

We dated for about 1 year, We broke up after fighting too many times about his drinking and his jealous controlling behavior...

I've dated other Latin men, but that's another story...

Young Buck II

He was back again and he ordered a sign, he was wearing tight jeans this time... I still want to do him

Young Buck

His name was Travis... and he wouldn't take his hands out of his pocket

he came into to buy a sign for his dad for Christmas...

He mumbled a lot - reminded me of Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain

He sort of looked like the younger version as well... slumped on the chair... was unsure of himself...

cute though....

Ahh.. Germany

In the Verdant green of awesome springs,

Wonders found in scented winds

Sky's touched with eternal blue

White hot sun has graced the dome,

Which covers wide the complete expanse,

lying upon my back to feel

the soft carpets of fresh mowed grass,

and yes to taste the sun baked fruit,

and drink the crystal waters,

ah, Germany

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . rmm

I had been transferred to Germany, this was my second time there...

This time I knew I was gay, however I was still pretty naive and I assumed that all the gay people in the world were living in San Francisco - I didn't know it yet, but we are everywhere - and are waiting to take over the world ,and even though I had experienced for myself, I still didnt believe that old joke -

What's the difference between a gay man and a straight man? (a six pack of beer)

Anyway, I was prepared for 2 years of hiding who I was, but I was used to it. Actually I had always been in the closet (even to myself) so it was nothing new for me.

This time I was stationed at Spangdalem Air Force Base, yes I was in the Army, but since I was in Air Defense Artillery, we sometimes get stationed at Airbases, that was so in case we actually went to war we could protect the air base from low flying aircraft.

One of the things that I disliked about being in the Army and stationed on an Airbase was, when we had an alert (played war games) the Army folks stayed in the field for two weeks - the Air force guys would stand down at 17:00 (5 pm) - It was a bummer watching Richard drive home in my Mercedes at 5:00 every day (but I'm getting ahead of myself)

So I at this airbase, I'm all settled in, I find a local church to go to, yes, I was still going to church - I still believed that God loved me in spite of my sin of being gay (we'll talk more about this - in some other post)

So I'm going to this Baptist Church, it is off base, and get to know some people - When your young and single and in the Military, there is always a outreach of some type to young service members - by the church folks - there is always a young men's group etc - (I'm sure there is outreach to women now as well)

I'm not sure where I met him, that man that wrote the poem above, I was dazzled, I was swept off my feet, he was handsome, smart, dark, with smoldering eyes, and rough massive hands.... He spoke 3 languages... funny, german wasn't one of them...

We met for coffee one time, where I confessed that I was gay, he had pried it out of me some how, we were talking about secrets, and how keeping secrets could damage your soul...

We became friends, now that I no longer had any secrets to keep... We hung out together and talked of a variety of interesting subjects, sometimes deep, sometimes not so deep...

We ended up at my house one night, and my roommate wasn't home - the roommate (Lucien)was someone who was in my Unit, and had taken me to the Baptist Church, he knew Richard as well, anyway we are talking about something and Richard says to me that I seem tense...

That I could use a massage, so I lie down on my bed and Richard starts to massage me - well I still had my jeans on, so after a while...

Richard says that I should take my jeans and shirt off... that he would be able to give me a much better massage...

so I do...

I am lying on my stomach, all I have on is my white briefs...

Goat Head

" Stop calling me "Goat Head" he says...

I look at him like he is crazy... and he laughs... "Go ahead?"

Ahh, I nod, I get it...

You see, we play pool every evening... and when I am done and it is his turn I say " Go ahead "

He is " DAN ", My former room-mate, from before I went to Fort Hunter Liggett...

I'm back at Fort Ord now, getting back into my former life. I moved in with a guy who has a 4 bedroom house, it's on base housing "supposedly" for his wife and kids, but they aren't anywhere around.

So he is renting out the other three bedrooms to friends... I have one room, a very young couple have another room, and the last is taken by a WAC (do they still call them that?)

We are a "party" house, but we don't stay up real late or have loud parties, we are just a mellow group that likes to drink and get a bit high, barbeques on the weekends.. that sort of stuff..

The young couple have sex a lot (the guy walks around in his underwear - I don't complain) and she cooks for everyone when they aren't having sex (we pay for the groceries)

Doug, the guy who is renting me a room in this house and the WAC (can't remember their names, but I'll call them Doug & Marge for this story) mainly sit around drinking, relaxing & smoking.

Dan and I just did our thing, we'd go to movies, go to the barracks (where Dan now lived) and play pool, bullshit, go out to my house... sit around...

I've always had a guy that I hung around with, you do that in the Army, you have a pal, a buddy. Dan and I were Buds, We used to live together in Pacific Grove, at a place called the Seventeen Mile Drive Village, The entrance to this place was the FAT CAT CAFE.

Seventeen Mile Drive Village was a "motel" a place where you could drive to the coast, rent this cottage, park your car in a garage, and stay for a week, cooking in your own little kitchen. Some years back they converted all the garages (all they did was take out the garage doors and then put in a wall) into bedrooms, and started renting out to the poor folks, military families, etc.

I had set up the "garage" as my bedroom, with stereo, couple of chairs and a water bed, Dan slept on the living room couch, after we were done watching TV for the night, we shared the 1 bathroom and kitchen

We were in the same platoon, but were in separate squads, so we didn't have any conflict that way.

We both had cars, but we'd commute together almost everyday... Every morning I used to get up real early and go for a walk on the beach, it was cool and very quiet. We lived there together about a year, before I got assigned to temp duty at Fort Hunter Liggett.

After I went to Fort Hunter Liggett, Dan had to move back to base, I was told it was because he got depressed, and starting not showing up to work on time.

We never did talk about it when I got back, but we started hanging out together once I got back.

We went right back to our life, except once in a while I went to the city, Dan never asked to come along or what I did while I was there.

Anyway, one weekend we were having one of our regular parties at the house (with extra guests as well), Dan was over, no one in the house had duty that weekend, and we were all relaxing, drinking etc...

Dan was house sitting for some friends that weekend, and he asked me to come over and spend that night so he isn't all alone.

I had already spent one night, but their house was cold, so I decide to grab the comforter off my water bed and I put it in his car, we decided to just use his car, because we are going to come back to my house the next day.

We go back in the house and continue to party... For some reason, the other folks get into some tiff, and all of a sudden there is all this whispering in corners, and people talking in bedrooms.

Tension gets thick, and Dan decides to find out what happened...

He comes back and says - " Everything is cool " " Marge thought someone called her a bitch, but I got it all straightened out "

I nod, and say " cool " After eating, Dan says " let's head out "

So we get in the car, and head out...

So we are sitting there, driving over to SSgt Moody's house (sometimes those names just pop back into your head) and Dan turns to me and says...

"The funniest thing just happened, " Marge said to me that " If you and Jack are getting it on, we think it's cool " " we ain't got no problem with it "

" Why do you think she said that? " he says... " Beats me, maybe because they don't see us go " hunting pussy" like the other guys " I reply (my heart beating like crazy)

So we get in the house, and we sit around drinking some more beer...

Dan says to me... " I'll flip you for your comforter "

" No way man " You're crazy, its' cold in this house, I'm not giving my blanket up " after a bit of back and forth we agree to share it...

I get up to go pee, and on my way back Dan decides to sneak up on me and spray me with a can of whipped cream that he found in the refrigerator, so I chase him around the house, trying to get even.

after we both run out of breath, we decide it's time to hit the sack.



So we head off to the bedroom, where we have a dilemma, we both normally sleep in the nude, but we are going to be sleeping in the same bed, so what are we going to do?

Finally we decide to sleep in our underwear...

So we are both lying there, not touching, both awake as hell, but quiet, pretending there is no tension, pretending that we are just sleeping together.

a minute goes by, and then another minute...

Finally Dan says, " well if something is going to happen... lets get started..."

So I put my hand on his butt, his white cotton brief covered butt, I just caressed his butt for a minute...

and then we fumble towards each other... not knowing what to do... We don't kiss, but we nuzzle each other's neck... we pull off our underwear and grasp each other's manhood, stroking and fondling... wanting more... but not knowing what is the limit, what might be considered "over the line" - that line between drunk - and being a fag...

Are we fags or two drunk buddies just caught up in the moment (well, I know I'm a fag) What do we do, that we might be able to ignore in the morning?

We wrap our legs around each other, first he straddles me, rubbing my manhood between the furry cheeks of his ass.... then we switch, and I rub his dick between the cheeks of my ass...

How a far can I go, what can we get away with?

We finally move to shower, needing something to lubricate us, but we are naive and full of innocence, not knowing what we really want or need, so we take turns in the shower...

Soaping ourselves up and then rubbing ourselves between the cheeks of the other...

Finally, the moment has passed, we are frustrated, but needing to rest.... we return to the bed, neither one satisfied, neither one... wanting it to end, but the moment has passed...

See, I was still naive.. I didn't know how to get his dick all sloppy wet with my spit, and then slowly lower myself on it, I didn't know how to spit on my own cock, and slide it between the cheeks of his furry ass...

I had never sunk my tongue into that hidden valley of pleasure and joy, I didn't know how to excite him until he begged for it.

So we turned over and slept, and in the morning...

When he said...

" Boy, was I drunk last night, can't remember a thing "

I died a little inside, my heart broken, but maybe relieved too...

.

After a while, we made the bed, and got back in the car, and went back to my house, not talking, quiet...

.


After a beer, Dan went back to the barracks...

We didn't talk for about two weeks...

except for small talk, we stopped hanging out together...

.

Our friends thought we had a fight - we hadn't - maybe... we just found out we didn't know how to love to each other... maybe we were afraid.

Even today, I wonder if he is gay - was it a one time thing - or was he like me...

.


After a few months, we started hanging out together again, but it wasn't like it had been before...

.

Then, I got orders transferring me to Germany

but that's another story

Get back on the Horse

and go for another ride they say....

That's what they say... when you get kicked off... right?

I guess the same thing goes for when you are riding a bike... get back on it and try it again until you learn how to ride....

Well, so after that fiasco the night before on the street...

I decided... I have just got to get back on that horse (so to speak) and ride that pony...

So the next night, I drive back to the same gay bar... maybe you'd think I'd go somewhere else... but I'm new to this and the Giraffe was a quiet place... not too much for me to handle...

I mean it's not like a leather bar or anything like that... I don't even think it is a sweater bar... I think it is was called a levi bar...

This was years ago, Hell, I had never heard of the Castro (or any other gay place) remember I just drove around until I found a place that looked gay...

So I'm back at the same bar, just a different night, I was hoping I would not run into that guy again... I mean it was okay, but it wasn't anything to write home about. I think the whole seedy hotel was a turn off as well...

So this night I meet this guy, a man of my dreams, he looked like a lumberjack (can you say Castro clone?) but it was my first time, and I never saw a Castro clone before, or maybe he was the first, maybe he started that whole craze... How was I to know....

Anyway, this time I was drinking Tequila Sunrises... and I can drink a lot of them babies (I was young) without feeling any pain...

So here I am downing lots of drinks nursing my drink... and acting cool (I think I left my glasses in the car) When this guy, the lumberjack comes over and starts talking to me... Well one thing leads to another, and next thing I know... I'm going home with him....


So we get to his place... we start kissing, I'm thinking damn this feels good

I'm thinking... so this is what has been missing all my life

He undresses me, and pushes me back onto his big bed... I watch him as he undresses, Nice furry chest, with pecs and abs like the best of any underwear commercial (hey, I'm going to remember it the way I want to)

He slowly removes his levi's... and he pushes down his boxers slowly, looking into my eyes as he pulls them slowly down... His thighs are massive and his manhood rises, waiting for it's pleasure

He slowly lowers his weight unto me... and then he moves his way down my body ...all the while, kissing me and biting me on my neck, my nipples as he moves his way way down my torso....

He takes me into his mouth... Oh MY GOD!

that feeling - it's heaven....

no it's too much... Stop!

no, don't stop


After an eternity ....

He lifts my legs above my shoulders and he presses himself into me...

I hold my breath, I take my hands and push against his belly trying to slow him down...

He is relentless....

After an eternity....

I explode....

without even touching myself....

then...

he rolls me over onto my stomach....

He is like a train... going up a hill, slow at first... gathering steam and speed...

we reach the summit....

this time we both explode at the same time...

too many years of denial released all at once

...

well, I won't go into all the details...

but after the second time... I whispered in his ear that, this was my first time with a man, that I was a virgin...

so we do it one more time...

this time it was slow and gentle....

I fall into a blissful sleep..and in the morning I wake up to hear him say... to his roommate...

" I left you a present in my bed... "

A morning of bliss, and then that night I return to Fort Hunter Liggett...

Life goes on with an occasional visit to the City, and a walk down Polk Street...

About three months later... my assigment at Fort Hunter Liggett is over and I return to Fort Ord, my friends and new living arrangements...

but that's another story

So I'm sitting there...

in my first gay bar... and I'm not even sure I'm gay...

Just looking around... having a drink

It is early or I remember it as early... anyway the bar was kind of empty... not too many people... and I've always been shy in bars, (it was the old saying, "Men dont't make passes at boys in glasses" or is it that with all that music I don't hear what people are saying that well).

regardless, if I'm at a bar and not drinking with a group of friends, you can usually find me in a corner playing pinball machine or reading the local gay rags....

Anyway, this night, my first night, I'm sitting at the bar... having a couple of beers... just looking around...

some guy sits down next to me, starts some small talk. He asks me if I'm gay... and my reply is ... That's what I'm here to find out

so one thing leads to another... and we eventually decide to go back to his place...

It was walking distance... in fact was one of those walk-up hotels at the end of Polk Street

One of those hotels that you pay by the week or month, but they won't let you stay for more than a month in the same room because that gives you some kind of rights, - so you have to move overy 30 days - anyway no guests allowed after 10 pm - so he had to sneak me in

the plan was - He would leave me at the side door, go in, go up to his room then come back the side stairs, and then let me in the side door... so off he goes...

Imagine - my first time, " I'm going to have sex with a guy " - and it is this seedy little hotel - where I have to wait outside - and he has to sneak me inside...

I'm nervous - I'm nervous as hell (hell I'm nervous, just writing this, cause I know what is going to happen next)

anyway, I'm waiting, and waiting, wondering if I've just been dumped (that boys in glasses thing) Wondering if I want to even do this... wondering if God really hates gay people, but he cant' because I might be gay, and I know God loves me....

after all I was a good Christian boy, I went to church every Sunday & Wednesday, I went to Youth Church every Monday, I sang in the Choir, I mowed the Church lawn every Saturday, I did outreach to seniors in convelesecnt hospitals. All my friends were good christians, I did all the things that you were supposed to do...

anyway, I'm standing on the sidewalk, in a seedy part of town, outside some hotel and I'm waiting for some guy to sneak me in...

Cars are driving by, I'm standing there nervous as hell, I need to pee, (beer from the bar) I'm about to have sex with a guy for the first time....

and

a

van

pulls up...


...

a white van ....


some baptist outreach van...


Lights on, posters all over the van, Loud speakers on top, spot lights get turned on and are all angled on me...

" JESUS SAVES " - " REPENT " - ETC. ETC.

Deer in the headlights -

dumbfounded -

I peed my pants - yes I did - I peed my pants right there on the sidewalk on Polk street - the guy comes out of the hotel just as the people in the van are about to get out and drags me in the hotel.. and rushes me up to his room

he saw what happened - so he is very understanding - we wash out my clothes in his little sink in his room - as you might guess... I'm no longer in the mood

but my clothes are now drying over his radiator... so we lie on his bed and he just holds me...

I decide to go home, and come back to " shangri-la " another day

but that's another story

When did I know I was...

well, I didn't even know what gay was for a long time...
From what my mom told me... I thought gay was.. being drunk and lying in the gutter, all covered with filth...

I had no idea it had anything to do with loving that man o mine...

I do remember the first time I was attracted to the male sex...

I was in the fifth grade.. and for some reason the Captain of the Football team (yes a fifth grade jock) came and said something to me, maybe is was just a simple hello, but I do remember that I was just dazzled by his beauty..

I was just struck by how handsome he was, I had never seen a creature that was as good looking as him... I had never thought that way about anyone before.

Still I never thought anything sexual about it at all, I was incrediably naive...

I think it was about seventh grade that I started to realize that most people looked down on gay people, but I still thought of them as drunks/bums lying in the gutter... I wasn't interested in that myself.

I wondered when I was going to start being attracted to girls - I just assumed I was a late bloomer (I was, but I was a bud from a different flower) It took me a long time to figure it out, (I was real naive) and I still thought men were much more attractive. and I loved looking at those handsome men, but I did know enough to not get caught.

It was while I was in the military that I finally figured it out.

And I am not talking early on either...

I even had guys who hit on me, while in Advanced Military Training (right after basic training) - still I did not have a clue...

Oh, I still thought men were much sexier than woman, and I knew enought to not express that opinion out loud, but I still didn'tknow what "gay" was...

I have to admit that most of the people I knew, had some negative opinion about gays, but I still didnt what gay meant - it not like I felt free to go ask someone what gay people did.

I didn't figure it out until I was going on five years in the Army, I was stationed at Fort Ord Fort Hunter Liggett, I'd drive home to my sister's house in San Jose for the weekend, My mom asked me a couple of times, if the guys I brought back with me a couple of times, were my boyfriends, but I still had no clue - and they were straight anyway.

It wasn't until the weekend was over and I was back at Fort Hunter Liggett, that I started to figure things out, you see one of my roommates lived in San Francisco, and he would complain about the gay people, and how much he hated them. that there were so many of them, and on and on...

Finally, I got the idea that I could drive to the city, and spot some for myself.

I drove up to the city and drove around until I found Polk Street, I parked my car and went into a bar called "The Giraffe" and I went in, sat down and had a drink

A guy asked me if I was gay, I said That's what I here to find out
but that's another story

a glance

just a look,.

.

a look, taken on the sly....

.

a look given in return, just as sly, not bold, yet not hidden...

.

another look, the gaze held longer...

Then we turn to the business at hand, and yet there is time for another look, and our eyes meet...

Smiles bloom, and eyes glance up and down....

.

The door waits, and so does my job... yet there is time for another look as I walk through the door...

We nod, acknowledging the desire...
.

I walk through the door out onto the street.
.
I glance back... for... one... last... look...
.

He has turned, to take another look... we both smile, and walk away feeling desired...

Interesting morning

Here at Acme Sign Company, we help out other sign companies. We are sometimes hired to go do an installation for a big sign company back east or do a survey. We in turn sometimes hire even smaller companies to come do work for us when we get too much work to get done in a reasonable time. It works pretty good for us.

We also help out other sign companies on other ways, we do some of their neon work for them and we also act at a convenient drop off spot for some of those sign companies that are way up north. Normally the drop off always happen when everyone else in at lunch and I am here by myself... I am not too pleased about this part, especially when I have to go unload 4x8 sheets of sign board for other companies.

Sometimes, a thank you just doesnt seem enough.

However, lately, one of the sign companies has hired a young man that I am more than willing to help him unload things for.


Until this morning, the time he has spent here has been all too brief...

Until this morning, it was just " Hi, I'm here to pick up my neon"

This morning, his truck broke down... and it is in our parking lot, and no one else is here right now except.... me and him...

click on the link for the rest of the story

Silver Lining

I suppose there is a silver lining in everything if you just look for it.

We used to have a little coffee shop down the street... Nothing to big and fancy, just a nice little place to walk to for a quick break. Get a latte or a chai, but never a coffee, cause we got coffee right here at the the sign company (for free).

Sometimes, I'd just walk with the people from the car repair place right behind us, not even get anything. It was good time to talk about what art projects we were working on, plays we might have seen, new bands in the area, etc. Sometimes it was the only time I woudl get to talk to them.

I enjoyed walking down to the cafe, at certain times, if you timed it right, you were able to see some of the more handsome men, taking their coffee breaks.

But the coffee bar, closed two weeks ago... so no more of that.

Sigh....

Anyway, I've just noticed today... now they walk in front of my office at the sign company, to go to different coffee bar. I'm so glad I have lots of windows.

Boxers or briefs

a poll...

This morning at Acme Sign... I was sitting at my desk... and a truck pulled up...

one of those trucks with the big tires on it, you know... so you have to have a hand rail to get up in it...

and you know what they say... big truck, little dick...

anyway... that did not seem to be the case on the man that walked through the door...

He was just a flopping away inside of those jeans... and that only happens when ....

you're wearing boxers or nothing at all...

and I'm ashamed to admit it , but it took me awhile to take my eyes off of his crotch and look him in the eyes...

so that got me thinking... if you wear briefs, that takes your package and puts it all in a nice mound, which can make your basket look bigger...

but if you wear boxers that lets "The Dragon" hang down and lets him get more blood into him which can feel look quite nice...

now regardless of what you wear, it is possible to wear jeans that are too tight, and then just everything looks obscene... so try to keep that in mind.

So the question is... When you are cruising strolling around taking in the sights... Do you prefer men in boxers or briefs?

Just another day at the gym

Spin Class - It is February and January-February brings all sorts of people into the spin class that I have not seen all year (well six months, I've been going for six months and have lost sixteen pounds, some days I am just so hungry when I get home, well I'll have to work on that)

I have moved up a row .. from the back row to the middle row - normally I would think of this as a good thing - but today -

Today was Philip & Scott's debut - Philip is a blond, with an awesome butt - it doesn't look that awesome until you see it in the shower... He is hairy as well - blond fur covering his chest and stomach.

Scott didn't take a shower - at least not while I was there - Scott is about 6'4, Dark Hair and a beard - very nice to look at


after my spin class, I was treated to a vision....

6'4' of man, head to foot... covered in glorious golden glistening hair...

He was an older man, so of course he was starting to lose the hair on top of his head, but that made him even more attractive.

I'm starting to lose mine, so I guess I'm getting more attractive too

I should have suspected

Years ago, I was very naive... and unaware afraid of my true feelings...

I was 19, I was stationed at Fort Lewis, Washington and my best friends were Dennis and Gaylord.

I would go home to San Jose, on leave about twice a year... and spent time with my old church gang...

While I was home on one of these trips, I met a young woman named T... She was 17 years old and still in High School....

I had a white Bonneville convertible (Pontiac) and I had gained few pounds (so I was no longer skinny as a pole) and I guess a good catch.

Anyway we started dating and she ended up coming up to Fort Lewis for a couple of months...

Anyway, I was a virgin, she was a virgin...and one thing led to another...

But the reality was...

I am Gay,

I always was gay...

the only way I could have sex with her...

was...

to think about him... Dennis...



He looked like this, his body was shaped like this, he took off his shirt a lot, he smiled and joked and loved the entire world.

I never told him.. that it was him I was thinking about all nights, while I was in his bed...

you see...

Dennis and his wife moved into their kid's bedroom while I and "T" stayed in "HIS" bed...

for two months... I slept in his bed and then went to work with him each day... (we were both in the army and in the same 4 man squad).

.


While with my second girlfriend... I turned my head to look at some guys butt and wrecked my car....

I decided...

I couldn't pretend anymore...

It was too much... like brokeback mountain...

Skates

that guy on the skates went by again this morning...

he said hello and nodded...

I said howdy...

stud muffin

Today at the gym...

Hot Damn!

An Older gentleman... Buff... Stud Muffin... not one of the turtlepeople (overbuilt)

He was so sexy I couldn't resist talking to him... He runs everyday for 30-45 minutes on the treadmill... (yes I ran today too... just so I could watch him)

I think I will try to incorporate running into my routine ... maybe then I will get to where I want to be as far as mine own body.

those men

have you ever thought that you might be one of those men?

One of those "hot men" that people appreciate?

you never know... think about it... how many times have you ever done anything about your fantasies?

maybe someone is fantazing about you

a wink, a nod, a certain look? or do you most of the time... just try and get a look in while they aren't looking at you?

adventure shed II

He was back.. even hotter than I remembered.. Im talking about my 6'2" blue eyed worker...

Double Blond

Today was what I call a "double blond" day... which means there were two guys at the gym... that were my special type...

my special type is blond or strawberry blond-red hair, 5'2" to 5'8" muscular build, but not too many muscles... Sixpack abs to a slight tummy.. usually bubble butt.. even if you can't see it...

I was thinking about this.. and I think it relates to back when I was in "sixth" grade...


I didn't have many friends when I was young, I used to stutter, and well you know how it goes...

anyway in the sixth grade

I became best friends with this strawberry blond guy, we did everything together...
we were the demons of the school yard, we would run around and disrupt other people playing games.. we had our own little gang...

then one day his family just up and moved away... like his father was in the witness protection program....

I never did find out what happened to him.

Adventure Shed

Today.. walked in a 6'2" Blond, blue eyed worker... I wanted to get on my knees.. you know why....

he wanted a sign... for his shed in the back yard... where the guys hang out... to have fun...

The ADVENTURE SHED that's he calls it.

I seriously thought about inviting him into the back room... for our own adventure

yummm...

Killer Smile

Ben... the guy from a well known local dairy that is available in your local market...

Hotl...

Goatee... Dark eyes... Killer Smile...

He seems shy... he looks at you with his head slightly cocked to one side... and smiles when he asks a question... nicely toned arms... broad chest... and a beefy butt

Work Clothes

I was shopping for work clothes...


actually I was thinking that the work clothes that are worn by men who actually work in them... some of those pants look really hot on the guys who wear them... or...


those guys are hot... I wonder if I would look hot if I wore the same clothes....


anyway I was shopping.. and I finally found the right pair... it fit my butt just right.. just long enough in the legs... and I went to go buy them at the register...


and there was a guy standing there... he looked at me... and then he looked away...


nice butt... his Carhardhts (what I was buying) fit just right.. so you could see the curve of his ass... and the cleft between his cheeks.. but not so tight.. that .. well you get the idea....


I tried not to look too long.. then I noticed, he was watching me... He nodded...


I looked away...


I looked again... Damn... he had nice muscles... not bodybuilder built... work with his muscles built...

He smiled at me before he left...

Drive By

I was driving by...

there he was again...

the same cop... same motorcycle cop...

enough meat on him to say... a man... and

thought I'd like to get pulled over by him and that


I'd find some way to get...


out


of


the


ticket..

different types

Two men... very different types...

1... big... two hundred forty pounds, six foot 2 inches... Blond hair, blue eyes, no facial hair, belly just hanging over his belt... firm butt, packed tightly into his jeans... big meaty hands

2... lean... 160 pounds, 5' 8", Dark hair & eyes, goatee, six pack abs? hidden under a loose fitting shirt, pants draping loosely over his butt

I'd" do em both

Here I am