Wonders found in scented winds
Sky's touched with eternal blue
White hot sun has graced the dome,
Which covers wide the complete expanse,
lying upon my back to feel
the soft carpets of fresh mowed grass,
and yes to taste the sun baked fruit,
and drink the crystal waters,
ah, Germany
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . rmm
I had been transferred to Germany, this was my second time there...
This time I knew I was gay, however I was still pretty naive and I assumed that all the gay people in the world were living in San Francisco - I didn't know it yet, but we are everywhere - and are waiting to take over the world ,and even though I had experienced for myself, I still didnt believe that old joke -
What's the difference between a gay man and a straight man? (a six pack of beer)
Anyway, I was prepared for 2 years of hiding who I was, but I was used to it. Actually I had always been in the closet (even to myself) so it was nothing new for me.
This time I was stationed at Spangdalem Air Force Base, yes I was in the Army, but since I was in Air Defense Artillery, we sometimes get stationed at Airbases, that was so in case we actually went to war we could protect the air base from low flying aircraft.
One of the things that I disliked about being in the Army and stationed on an Airbase was, when we had an alert (played war games) the Army folks stayed in the field for two weeks - the Air force guys would stand down at 17:00 (5 pm) - It was a bummer watching Richard drive home in my Mercedes at 5:00 every day (but I'm getting ahead of myself)
So I at this airbase, I'm all settled in, I find a local church to go to, yes, I was still going to church - I still believed that God loved me
So I'm going to this Baptist Church, it is off base, and get to know some people - When your young and single and in the Military, there is always a outreach of some type to young service members - by the church folks - there is always a young men's group etc - (I'm sure there is outreach to women now as well)
I'm not sure where I met him, that man that wrote the poem above, I was dazzled, I was swept off my feet, he was handsome, smart, dark, with smoldering eyes, and rough massive hands.... He spoke 3 languages... funny, german wasn't one of them...
We met for coffee one time, where I confessed that I was gay, he had pried it out of me some how, we were talking about secrets, and how keeping secrets could damage your soul...
We became friends, now that I no longer had any secrets to keep... We hung out together and talked of a variety of interesting subjects, sometimes deep, sometimes not so deep...
We ended up at my house one night, and my roommate wasn't home - the roommate (Lucien)was someone who was in my Unit, and had taken me to the Baptist Church, he knew Richard as well, anyway we are talking about something and Richard says to me that I seem tense...
That I could use a massage, so I lie down on my bed and Richard starts to massage me - well I still had my jeans on, so after a while...
Richard says that I should take my jeans and shirt off... that he would be able to give me a much better massage...
so I do...
I am lying on my stomach, all I have on is my white briefs...
Richard is massaging me....
Richard decides that he is too warm and takes off his shirt...
He continues to massage me, working my from my lower body up to my shoulders, he is resting most of his weight on me...
By this time I am hard and I'm afraid of what might happen...
Then I feel his breath on the back of my neck, and then his teeth gently biting me... I moan, and well....
We became lovers...
We got a nice big house together... so we needed to have a roomate.. and even though our roomate... seemed like he was a big flamer himself, we kept things secret from him... We both had our own rooms and Richard would slip into my bed early every morning when we would make love, trying to be as quiet as possible...
We loved it when our roomate had to work on the weekend...
Richard was very controlling and sort of like a svengali to me... he would often go away on the weekends by himself.. he said it was to teach me to not need him, that it was okay to want him and love him, but it was bad to need him...
At some point, we had to talk about what was going to happen, once my time in the service was up, (he had a year longer to go than I did) after much discussion, we decided that when my time was up, I would go home and get a job, and save up money, then when he got out he would move to Portland, Oregon, and I would support him until he got a job and got settled, then I would join him...
So we sold the Mercedes and bought a smaller car, got a smaller house, all things he could afford by himself... and everything was put in his name... after that things got wierd... we didnt have any fights, but things just seemed wierd, now that the care was in his name he would take off for longer weekends... and I would spend many weekends alone.
(to give you an example of how naive I was, I got crabs from Richard and I didnt even know what they were, he brought home some soap one day and said it would fix the itch)
One of those long weekends that he was away, I cheated on him, and it broke my heart, I didn't think I was capable of that. of betraying the one I loved....
Later, I found out that Richard's nickname on base was "Tea House Dick"... it seems he was giving blow jobs in the Rec Center bathroom about 3 times a day... (he worked in the Rec center) But we never talked about those things...we just pretented that things were okay...
After I got home from the Army, I received a " Dear John" letter from Richard, and that was the last I ever heard from him.
I moved in with my sister and soon found a new boyfriend , but that is another story
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